Hi. How’s your self-isolation/quarantine/social distancing going? For us it’s been over two full weeks of self-isolation at home. This is starting to seem normal now which is good, I guess. But it also makes me realize just how little time it takes to change patterns and habits. The first few days were hard, there was still so much unknown in what was going to happen with school and work and well, life. Last week was definitely an acclimation week – lots of naps for all of us, sleeping in, lots of tears and meltdowns from everyone.

But we’ve been following the rules. I long for control, and when I can’t control a situation I look for control’s very close sibling – rules. So I we haven’t left the house and we haven’t had anyone in our home besides us. It was hard and different. And then, one day, it wasn’t as hard, and the next day seemed a little easier, and the next day and the next day, until we reached our new normal. We still have meltdowns, we still have tears (omg the rage tears while working out – anyone else?), but we also seem to be settling in to this new life and making it work for us. Some things are helping a lot. Some things don’t help at all. Here’s what’s working for us two weeks in to our quarantine life:

1.) No More News

I stopped watching the news. I found the two hour long morning news and hour long evening news I usually have on in the background was making me more anxious. Don’t get me wrong, I LIVE for a sappy montage that The Today Show does so well, but it was all the other stuff - the counting, and death toll, and politics of it all was just too much. I’m seeking the good news portions of this time through Instagram, but the rest of it I just can’t right now. I’m not trying to downplay the severity and hard work of those in the front lines, but for me, right now, I need to stay in my little bubble a bit. The main news message hasn’t changed – this is bad, it’s getting worse, stay home. That’s as much information as I need right now, to be honest.

2.) Routine vs. Schedule

Deacon used to be in school from 12-3pm every day with different therapies occupying our mornings. We used to have a part-time nanny with Sissy on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And Alex worked 70+ hours in his office downtown. And now we’re all home. All the time. Last week was HARD. But this week, knowing that “spring break” was over, I knew I needed a plan. Now the Type A, Enneagram 1 in me would LOVE to have a color coded by the half-hour schedule and full lesson plan workbook. But that is not how my four and a half year old and fourteen month old roll. I did, however, learn early on from Deacon’s teachers that routine is so important to his behavior, so that’s what we have. Not a schedule, a routine. And a fluid routine, one that can adapt and change as needed. As one of my favorite Peloton instructors, Ally Love. says fluidity over flexibility because flexibility has a breaking point. Generally our fluid routine is this:

MORNING: “School” – active play (on my part too) with educational moments woven in when possible. Free play welcomed as well, but at least two “activities” (could be as easy as puzzles or blocks) that allow for one on one conversational moments for Deacon and me. No screens for 3 hours until I call upon Daniel Tiger to entertain them while I set out lunch.

LUNCH: Y’all. MAKE LUNCHES AT NIGHT. Just like I did for school days, making lunches the night before is saving me right now. Our first week at home I felt like all I did was make food, scream at kids to hold on while I cleaned it up, and repeat. Packing their lunches in lunch boxes is saving me so much time and also allows for fun sporadic picnic moments when the weather is nice. Even iif you’re at home without kids, this will probably make your work-from-home situation a little easier as well.

AFTERNOON: Mandatory one hour “recess” after lunch outdoors. Rain or shine. This has probably been my favorite part of our days. Getting dirty, using every last outdoor toy at all times, and feeling the mood-boosting power of sunshine.

NAP/QUIET REST: Emilia goes down for her nap at 1:30 like a champ. (We dropped to one nap a day when she was 11 months old and it has made her sleep super easy and consistent). Deacon is allowed to have his ipad or toys in his room. No one is allowed to speak to me for one hour. Seriously. Not even Al. I call it the sanity hour and it is usually when I sprint-tidy the house like a mad woman or say screw it all and sit outside and work on the website. Deacon now has tele-therapy for PT and speech most afternoons so I grab him after an hour or so we can call his therapists. It’s been precious to see him look forward to seeing his instructors again. The sessions aren’t as beneficial as IRL, but they are keeping him consistent and it’s important to me to support these private practices that are very near and dear to our heart.

SNACK WALK: Emilia wakes up around 4 or 4:30. She has snack and we walk around the block or swing outside. It’s been nice having Alex join us for these walks, definitely a perk to this whole situation. This is also when I begin happy hour because quarantine rules are airport rules - you’re allowed a drink or gummy worms whenever you want.

DINNER/BATH/BED: Same as it always was.

A note on “school”, we just got circle time instructions and some lesson plans from his teacher on Friday and did his first circle time at home. First of all, so dang cute! And his teacher worked so hard to make a presentation with her voice and videos so it’s just like school. He loved it! I created a little circle time nook in the playroom using this calendar that we already had (he asked for a calendar for Christmas; he’s def my child) and I bought this schedule from Lakeshore Learning last week when I was in a home school panic tailspin. I think it will help him see what our routine is and let him have ownership over selecting a few activities for our morning school time. You could totally make something similar on the computer or with construction paper, but as the girl who played make-believe school most of my childhood, I am pretty excited about my “classroom”. Overall, I’m keeping in mind that he’s in Pre-K and all he really needs right now is play, routine, and attention.

Shop our “classroom”

3.) Get Outside Often

See Recess section above. Deacon, in particular, must have time to run, jump, and spin. As a sensory-sensitive four year old he needs that stimulation to equalize his temperament. We had one day last week where the rain just wouldn’t let up so we couldn’t go outside and that was the only day where he really had a meltdown. But it’s not just for him, fresh air and sunshine just make everything seem a little better. I personally see and feel God when I see and feel the sun. I hope when I look back on this time I will remember their smiles in the sunshine and feel glad.

4.) No New Projects

At the start of this I was all “I’m going to clean out my closet! I’m going to organize the laundry room cabinets!” HA! Did y’all see that routine? I can barely fold clothes (omg what is with the laundry – we go nowhere but have twice as much laundry as before?!) or unload the dishwasher. What was I thinking? Not in this season of life with these small needy people. Last week I was feeling unaccomplished because I hadn’t done any of my Quarantine Projects, but this week I release the expectation to do anything other than the as-needed tasks of daily life that come with four people who never leave the house.

5.) Self-Care Matters Even More

I don’t necessarily mean your Basic B self-care here (although, yes still masking quite often because my skin is a visual representation of the stress I feel), I mean taking time for myself. Never getting a break makes me real cranky (see previously mentioned sanity hour section in our routine). I’ve realized that if I don’t find a way to move my body each day I feel super tired, super moody, and super stressed. As Elle Woods stated, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t." Saving not just my life, but Al’s too. (Psssttt the Peloton app is free right now and has tons of workouts that aren’t just cycling. I also still use and love 21 Day Fix and PiYo from BeachBody On Demand). Additionally, I have been feeling zero guilt for telling Al I’m “taking to the bed” and that I don’t want to hang out with him for an evening. We all need our space and alone time.

6.) Don’t Stop Connecting

We are really missing people. Especially our parents. My mom was supposed to visit for Spring Break and we usually see Al’s parents at least once a week. It has been hard, but we are thankful for FaceTime and their understanding that this what has to be done to keep all of us safe. In addition to family, I’m trying to keep make an extra effort to reach out to my single friends, my extroverted friends who are in their personal hell by not socializing, as well as our elderly neighbors. We’ve put a sign up on our front window to motivate neighbors out walking and have delivered artwork to our neighbors’ mailboxes (after washing our hands and placing in ziplock bags). Zoom, Google Hangouts, and Marco Polo have made us have happy hour just about every night and we aren’t complaining at all. My family even had a karaoke contest on Marco Polo last weekend that was highly entertaining. Connecting and finding community in all of this is what will keeps us going and staying positive.

7.) Gratitude & Prayer

It is not lost on me that the complaining and irritation I have from quarantine life is so ridiculously petty and diminutive when people are dying and healthcare workers are risking their lives and time with loved ones to care for the sick. I think most of my anxiety lately comes from worrying about those on the front lines. It pains me to see their exhausted eyes and bruised faces from masks and goggles. The lack of supplies and beds truly keeps me up at night. I wish I could do more. But all I can do is follow the rules by staying home. That, and pray. I pray constantly for the strength and health of those infected and those treating the infected. I pray for the continued determination by educators who have somehow reinvented school in a matter of days. I pray for protection for children who no longer have school as their safe space or their place to feel love. I pray for those who are not just out of whack from this change, but are now out of work. Prayer, petition, and thanksgiving says Philippians 4:6. I’m praying and I’m finding the moments of gratitude in all of this. It’s all we can do.

I hope you are acclimating to your new normal a little easier this week. I am giving myself (and my people) heaping scoops of grace right now. There is no right way to feel or handle any of this. We are all doing our best. I hope reading about what is working for us helps settle or motivate you in some way. This is how we are living and coping two weeks in; who knows what will work next week or the week after that. All I know is sunshine, alone time, and a fluid routine are getting us by…one day at a time.