I have a word! Finally. No, the word isn’t “finally”. I mean I finally, have a word for the year. Typically in January each year I pick a word as a general theme or focus on which to center my year. Previous words of the year of mine in the past have been cultivate (2020), slow (2019), and presence (2018). I can’t remember before that, but I do know somewhere between 2011 - 2015 I had “chill” at least once (I used to get a little worked up at work).

For whatever reason, perhaps an emotional hangover from 2020, or my seemingly worsening ability to pay attention to only one thing at at time, I have had the hardest time figuring out my word for 2021. So when I was stuck, I do what I normally do, I make a list. I knew this year that I wanted to do the following:

Be more consistent with healthy habits
Create and stick to better rhythms as a family
Set more boundaries and limits for work and family time
Be less frazzled when plans change
Respond to moments of chaos with calmness
Better identify and hold on to my beliefs and things I know to be true
Set the course for our day/life/time together
Act less on the extremes, seek evenness in my days and actions.

Any and all of those words would make a perfectly inspirational word for the year, but I was looking for something that encapsulated all of that. It took some time with my trusty thesaurus, but low and behold, I found it.

STEADY.

“steady (adj), \ ˈste-dē \
direct or sure in movement, firm in position, keeping nearly upright in a seaway, showing little variation or fluctuation, not easily disturbed or upset, constant in feeling, principle, purpose, or attachment.”

— Merriam-Webster

Good old Merriam-Webster defines steady as, “direct or sure in movement, firm in position, keeping nearly upright in a seaway, showing little variation or fluctuation, not easily disturbed or upset, constant in feeling, principle, purpose, or attachment.”

WOW. Let’s take a minute to unpack that definition and how it relates to what I’m hoping for this year.

“Direct or sure in movement”

I’m really focusing on the word “direct” on this one. I often find myself meandering though our home doing a little of this a little of that. Being direct and sure in my movements will hopefully help with that whole ‘can’t remember what I was doing so I’ll do ten other things’ issue.

“Firm in position”

This particular part of the definition is one with which I struggle. I can be a bit of a chameleon at times, trying to please everyone, or rather, liking what other people like. I want to get deeper into truly and fully identifying things that matter the most to me - as it relates to faith, politics, relationships, even my interior decorating and style - and holding firm to them.

“Keeping nearly upright in a seaway”

Man, I love a metaphor (followed closely by an alteration). I often use the cyclical and overwhelming nature of the ocean, waves, and tides to describe how I experience life. As a mom, “keeping upright” rings true so much because it often feels as if I’m steering the course for our family. My mood becomes everyone’s mood. My demeanor is echoed by the three other people around me. And thus the concept of “keeping upright” is of high importance.

“Showing little variation or fluctuation”

This definition at first read seems a little bleak, but I’m choosing for this exercise to interpret it by keeping consistent. Making healthy choices - moving more, eating more green things - and not varying or fluctuating so greatly from completely unhealthy to healthy and back.

“Not easily disturbed or upset”

THIS ONE. If I was one to make clear resolutions rather than words of the year, it is safe to say my resolution would be to “yell less.” (But really though, why does no one in my house listen until I say something 3+ times at louder and louder volumes?!). I read somewhere that when frustrated with your kids you should reframe what they’re doing by saying “oh (child’s name) is acting like such a (child’s age).” It helps you remember that how they are behaving is most likely typical and common for their age. So when Emilia “plays” by dumping all of the toys that I just picked up she’s not doing anything more than being two. Yes, of course, there is an opportunity for redirecting and teaching how to look for things without dumping for the sake of dumping, but that is best done in a calm tone, not shouting. Keeping a steady demeanor, especially in times of chaos, is something I think will make our whole home more pleasant and steady.

“Constant in feeling, principle, purpose, or attachment”

This final part is, in my opinion, the best definition of steady. In 2021 I want to feel constant in feeling, principle, purpose, and attachment. After all that 2020 gave us, a steady 2021, sustained and upright, sounds quite lovely.

I hope to check in with y’all in a few months with strategies and tools that have helped me (hopefully) have a STEADY 2021. In the meantime, I would love to hear from you - what is your word of the year? Perhaps we can use the comments section here as a database of “words” should you want to select one of your own for the year.